Claire Fraser (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
monigheandonn) wrote2015-06-29 11:17 pm
monigheandonn) wrote2015-06-29 11:17 pm
[For Jamie]
It's finally happened.
After many long months of waiting, after all the worry and discussions and purchases, after the shock of panic that ripped through me when the difficult part of my labor truly began, it's finally over.
I'm not sure how long the labor took, but it felt as though it went on forever, the pain familiar in a way that made it difficult for me to stay calm as the hours passed. I don't know what it is about my body, but Faith's labor brought me to the very edge of death, and Ellen's would have done much the same if I hadn't been among such advanced medicine and care.
Exhaustion coated me, weighing me down when it was finally over, but I heard her cry, loud and strong and alive and once I began to cry along, it was some time before I could stop. The nurses put her in my arms after wiping her down briefly, swaddled in sheets and her skin still stained a bit red, her face angry as she screamed out at the world, but she was alive, and she was ours.
I knew my part in the labor was not over, however. The doctors were still speaking to each other in concern, and I felt weak, much too weak to even attempt to feed her. A nurse took her after letting me give her a kiss on her impossibly soft cheek, and then Jamie was holding her, and the world began to fade.
When I wake again, it's in a clean, quiet hospital room. The window's curtains are closed, but I can tell it's daylight out. Everything from my waist down aches and my throat is dry, but when I turn my head and see the little crib there, Jamie asleep in a cot beside it, the pain doesn't matter.
She made it. We made it.
"Jamie," I say, my voice coming out in a whisper. I try again, but the dryness makes my throat constrict and I cough instead, sending a lance of pain down through my groin.
After many long months of waiting, after all the worry and discussions and purchases, after the shock of panic that ripped through me when the difficult part of my labor truly began, it's finally over.
I'm not sure how long the labor took, but it felt as though it went on forever, the pain familiar in a way that made it difficult for me to stay calm as the hours passed. I don't know what it is about my body, but Faith's labor brought me to the very edge of death, and Ellen's would have done much the same if I hadn't been among such advanced medicine and care.
Exhaustion coated me, weighing me down when it was finally over, but I heard her cry, loud and strong and alive and once I began to cry along, it was some time before I could stop. The nurses put her in my arms after wiping her down briefly, swaddled in sheets and her skin still stained a bit red, her face angry as she screamed out at the world, but she was alive, and she was ours.
I knew my part in the labor was not over, however. The doctors were still speaking to each other in concern, and I felt weak, much too weak to even attempt to feed her. A nurse took her after letting me give her a kiss on her impossibly soft cheek, and then Jamie was holding her, and the world began to fade.
When I wake again, it's in a clean, quiet hospital room. The window's curtains are closed, but I can tell it's daylight out. Everything from my waist down aches and my throat is dry, but when I turn my head and see the little crib there, Jamie asleep in a cot beside it, the pain doesn't matter.
She made it. We made it.
"Jamie," I say, my voice coming out in a whisper. I try again, but the dryness makes my throat constrict and I cough instead, sending a lance of pain down through my groin.